Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A closure of 2010 and other rambles

So here we are, the closing of the year 20-10... yes its not two thousand ten.. 20-10. This year has been an incredible year for many reasons. I started 2010 with my beautiful Hine', after too long of a time, I finally came thru on a promise to her, and in 2010 I came home to her, for good. I'll take this time to say, this year has been incredible for us as a couple, we've grown together, our relationship has strengthened , and being able to just randomly get lost and find eachother somewhere in the tri-state area spending the moments we can together has been a really amazing, compared to the start of the year when we'd be lucky to see eachother for a few hours a month.

This year has also seen my return to the Academic world, working to get my Master's Degree and Licensing in Counseling. I have some time still to go until I'm done, but being home, and getting these goals completed have put this positive direction in my life. 2010 also saw my return to faith. For many years, I have strayed and lost touch with my faith for many years. Coming home, with my love, and in joining my friends ( a lot of whom I now consider family) checking-in with God, has enhanced my views on love, life, and a more positive look towards the future together in a relationship between us and god together as a couple.

Now today I went out to the mall, and have made some observations which have really struck a nerve. This is the first time in a mall, that I have seen so many young teens pushing strollers with infants. I have to tell these people, "Are they nuts"? Too many young people, most of them teens (just barely out of infancy themselves) have taken it upon themselves to take the leap and create a new living, breathing person - with no way of support or caring for the child they have brought into this life. Teen father's out there... if you're man enough to have a kid, then do us all a favor, take out the 3 gauge steel bolts out of your ears, nose, and lip grow up and act the part. There is a time where baby momma's and baby daddy's need to sit down, and think that oh wait, its time that they need to set an example for the new life they formed. having tattoo's of your names around your neck, is probably not the best idea. I saw someone in the mall today, she had 8 italic tattoo's of who I'd only assume are the baby's daddy's .. and when her child is asked, whats your daddy's name, they can reply, Uhrm.. the one on the left side of mommy's neck.

My final ramble comes from having dinner out this evening. At this chinese place, there was a typical american family. The one who I can only assume was the father, dressed in what can only be considered PJs , is there taking two chairs, as a single chair would not handle, his rather protruding girth is there with 4 plates of food, literally shoveling food into his mouth. The boy, probably 10-12 is there, yelling, cursing, and rather than eating food, is only eating the artificial oil saturated ice cream substitute, and of that he has 6 rather large bowls of it. The girl, probably of the same age, again with the 3 gauge steel bolts protruding through various body parts, is there, evidently a picky eater. The girl is complaning about squid, and how she won't touch it. Her father then comes out and shows his amazing parenting skills, by saying for $30 dollars she'd eat it... then having the aforementioned boy to get up, to reach around the fathers back to retrieve his wallet, to get the money and literally slap it on the table as if he was at a bar. Since when has parenting involved betting, bribing to help teach a child right from wrong, or help them with being picky eaters? This group left, and soon after, 4 waiters run to their table to sweep, shovel , and push the debris left over from their onslought of the buffet.. I kid you not, there were 3 garbage bags of waste left from their table.
This is why American's have such a horrible reputation worldwide. My advice for these people in 2011 - Do us all a favor and stop perpetuating these stereotypes for the rest of our sakes. If your going out to eat, PJs are not appropriate attire, shoveling food into your mouth like a conveyor belt is not pleasent to watch, and I don't care how many baby's daddy's or baby's momma's you have, illustrating how immature, and how white trash you are by showing all of society of how loose you are.. this is not World War II and your not in the military painting conquests on the side of your machine, so Now would be a great time to stop.

I always believe, you start on the good, move onto the bad, and end on a positive note. So as such...
Emily Tchir, this is a personal thank you for everything you've shown me this year, helped me with, and for standing by my side, even when the odds have been stacked against us. I love you, and I can't wait to meet Mom and Dad, and expand my relationship with them in this coming year.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Irony and other funny things

So hooray for Psych. In the last week, my assignments have hit home, and it seems like everyone of them gets more and more difficult to discuss and talk about. First it was discuss Schizophrenia... Hmm, Andrew I wonder if your qualified to be able to speak on this topic? Of course I am, having an astranged uncle who has been happily paranoid schizophrenic for well over the course of my life. I remember when I was little, thinking how awesome it was that I had an artist as an uncle, and how funny it was when my uncle would do inpersonations of a notable celebrity. As the years past, what once was funny to me as a child, ironically was funny for another reason, because it was funny how what I once thought to be amusing and a good thing, turned out to be a monster, and not normal and very very wrong. Seeing my uncle not take his medication, and at the age of 16 , standing at 6'2 having to drop my uncle while he was going through one of his paranoid hallucinations, and that my grandparents were conspiring with the CIA to take his brain, and the only option was to silence my grandparents physically.

As I hit the submit button on my assignment, I was clueless to see that my next assignment was to write on how a family would cope with a family member with Alzheimers. My grandfather, a veteren of World War II, a titan of industry, capitalist , king of his domain and head of the household, become someone with a cognitive functioning level of a 6,11,15, or late 80 something year old - never knowing which one he'd be on any given day. It was last year when my grandfather, who already had begun showing signs of Alzheimers for many years, fell and broke his hip. little did anyone know that coming out of anesthetic he would not be the same man, and never be the same again. While most elderly patients come out of surgery without any side effects, as he's done with most of his life, my grandfather never took just the minimum, and always went all out, and he very much did the same in this instance. aside from the MERSA infection, he became the Paranoid delerious Alzheimer's patient who believed that the triad were out to get him in the hospital, and was positive that the rod which was now screwed into the bones to allow him to walk were melting, and he could feel the liquid titanium pooling in his heel. Speaking as a grandson, I could only try to come close to empathize with my grandmother - and through this event, my respect for my grandmother has never been greater, for her to see her husband, the man that she's loved for over 55 years, be reduced to someone, and something that isn't the same that she married those years ago.. yet love him just as much, and never once shows the obvious pain and dispair she must be going through, She has forever kept my admiration, respect and love. While I've gone through alot over the last 3 years, I only pray that I can make a difference for them, and help them whenever I can.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

House, Home , and Uni

So after being on hiatus for some time blog wise, tonight is the night I fix that. Sumida finally won, after 22 months working in Chicago and 2 years since leaving New Jersey , he pushed the button and away I went.
Now home for a month, I have met some awesome people through Grace Chapel, re connected with family, and most importantly home together with the love of my life, Em. After enduring months without me being by her side, the wait finally paid off.

Em has sacrificed so much while I've been away in Chicago. You know, people say you know you've found the one, I will always keep saying it, Em is the one- after standing by my side even after flatlining on her in hospital, and my questionable custody agreement with twitch, not once has she turned and walked away. 22 months, think about that number, Twenty-Two .. twenty two months this amazing, incredible sexy woman has stayed true on course, seeing that the light at the end of the tunnel , even when everything else around fell, Em saw that beam of light leading the way. August 18,2010 Em and I embraced, for the first time, as a couple, together, home in every sense of home, our hearts stopped at that moment, we failed to have seperate hearts , seperate minds, we became one heart, one mind, and finally one being , each puzzle piece fitting together, perfectly.

Now the University year has started.. and we both have what some may call an insane course load. Schedules mix, schedules change.. but one thing still remains.. at the end of the day, I can kiss her good night, brush her bangs behind her right ear, and tell her that we've made it through another day, and refill her c{_} of coffee.

In the words I always tell her, sometimes to much chigrin - We'll be fine Hine' , we always find a way no matter what it takes..

We got this School year locked down, we're doing it together, not as a long-distance couple, but as a couple who have become one being together under God.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The meaning of Sacrifice

Too often it goes unnoticed as to the depth of sacrifices people make, in order to see the other side. In today's world with so many people from all backgrounds have made sacrifices so that others may live, so that a mother could feed her children, a father to give up that "sure deal at work, just so that he could see his son's little league game". The sacrifice made most recently is a wife, a girlfriend, a significant other, seeing them off into unknown territory , an unknown people, and a demographic which would like nothing more then to see each of them hung, mutilated, and maimed in the name of their god. While I will not compare my own circumstances to that of a solider going to war, and dishonor the work that they do, I want to let it be known, there is a woman 788 miles east of my location, who I feel that day in, and day out, living a life of a military spouse, without the benefit of being able to say her spouse is overseas fighting to protect us from evil.

7 years ago, I made a choice to enter the world of the airline industry, partly because it had been a childhood dream of mine to be a pilot, and be a part of this mystical realm which I admired since I was 6 weeks old. During my time here, I have traveled to places, I only dreamed of going, have met people from all backgrounds, from homeless people looking for a warm bench in an airport terminal to Celebrities. I am grateful for every day that I've had.

7 months ago, in a warm summer day in pleasentville, I promised myself, and to the woman who holds my heart, that I would return home, by next april... and for every month until then I'd return each month, to show my dedication , my honor , and my love for this woman. For every month since that day, I have held true, and as I have held, so has her love, we've grown, we've shared, and most of all experienced things, I could only have dreamed of at a point in time. Today at work, She mentioned something, which really hit, and stuck with me "When I tell people, its going to be a little while longer before your home, I get a look or a comment of pity" . My heart cried out hearing this. For while, I have been here in Chicago, working, and arranging a formal move home to her, whenever she's asked, part of her cries out too, sadness, the hope, the prayer that I'd return home..that when someone asks of me, she'll be able to say, with that amazing smile of hers "He's great, I can't wait to go home to him tonight". She might be in the student lounge, and hears the doors to the outside open, and for a brief second, turns her head in hope that it could just be him, or when she lies in bed, wrapped in a hoodie, grasping onto it , wrapping herself with it, lifting her shoulders, wishing he was filling that hoodie, and it was his arms around her.
To be able to keep a smile on her face, even when she least wants to, as she tells people, that my schedules changed, and that I won't be home when I said I would be. To hear her friends respond with "that sucks" or "I hope he's back soon" .. to pity her. The truth is folks, She's stronger then anyone I know or have met. I have put Emily thru so much hardship and pain, with my being away from her, away from home for so long.. that even with a lifetime and then some of being with her, I can only wish and hope to be able to give her, and show her as much devotion, as much love, and as much a security as she has given in her sacrifice being in a long distance relationship with me.
The meaning of sacrifice , is being able to forgo something, in light of one day having it in return.

Emily, for every moment you've sacrificed, I promise, it has not been in vein, and as each day passes, my love, my dedication, and my devotion to you only grows stronger, and when we reunite together, it will be eternity and a day.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The role of being the other half

So tonight I am here, random thoughts strung together into a form of wisdom. Today, my love tells me about how she's had a rough day at work, how there have been people talking, perpetuating lies, and when in doubt of their lies, making up more fiction then fact to get the attention drawn to them. So I have a self proclaimed cranky pants - direct quote, who was well on the way to being pissed off. Now as any boyfriend, husband or significant partner would do, I immediately ask what I can do, how I can try to make it not as cranky, but knowing that I'd never deprive someone of their cranky-ness , I send her this comical FB bumper sticker.. suddenly the cranky has broke, a smirk breaks, then a chuckle, then that glare from the otherside of the computer screen telling me, OOOOHhh I want to be cranky, but .. somehow I can't... stay.. trying to hold on.. cranky subsiding, happiness returning.. and we're there. the role of a other half, is not to be an other half at all , but to be the essense which adds joy, happiness, and calm, balancing out the bad of the day, with good, then tipping the scales ever so slightly, to gaurentee that no matter how bad the day gets, when at the end of the night, you look into her, feel her, everything melts away, and your left with a smile, love, and a new dawn to look forward to

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

3 Wishes

The question is always asked " If a Genie in a bottle were to grant you 3 wishes, what would you wish for? " . Many will ask for health, wealth, and prosperity, others would wish for world peace, and an end to world hunger. I posed the question to myself, wondering if I were ever given the chance, what would I do? What would I wish for? Well, I think that my wishes have come true without the aide of a Genie. Don't get me wrong, having Barbara Eden blink herself into my living room would be cool, but truth is, through wonders of perfect timing, and being at the right place at the right time, I've found them... all of them. If I could ask for anything , it would be to not be in chicago any more, and to be back in New Jersey. I once said " there is nothing really to go back for in New Jersey", little did I know, that the entire reason why I should be there, found herself in a very amazing small package. Through her, I have found not only love, not only laughter, but I've found someone who proves to me that I am that good, and that amazing.. being someone who has always had self doubt, I haven't picked up on this quickly, and only in the last almost 4 months have I started to see, but without this woman, I would never have seen. You spend a lot of time away in my line of work, and there are great periods where your distraught at knowing your not home, that no matter how hard you extend your arms, you'll still come up ohhh... 783 miles short from wrapping your arms tightly around her. So you are probably asking yourself, what exactly does this have to do with 3 wishes? The shortest of answers, is I don't need them, for she has given me love, a wealth of emotions and feelings, and with her, we prosper together, as boyfriend and girlfriend, as husband and wife to be, and as eternal soul mates. Emily does things for me, be it the text messeges she send me while she's in class, to the bumper stickers on Facebook, all giving me that smile or smirk and sometimes chuckle, thinking how lucky I am to have her by my side. There are times, when it seems I can never thank her, or show her in return how much these small things mean to me, so I end this by saying "Genie, if I were ever to get 3 wishes, my wish is for Emily to know that everything she does, makes my face light up, and my heart leap from my chest, for the last 2 wishes, give one to the rent-a-cop at the galleria in WestChester, and one to the chipmunk peanut gallery at the baseball field"

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day

So as you all know in 12 short minutes it will be officially Valentine's Day. So some will be romantic, some will be just down right horny, others will be just crying out " Happy Single Awareness Day".. But this year, I get to say, Happy Valentines Day to the greatest love I have ever had, or ever will have in my life.. Emily
So while other guys have strategy and planning, I on the otherhand just thought, I know.. Emily Tchir, will you be my valentine?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

No such thing as flaws, just another form of compatibility

For the last 1 year , 9 months 2 weeks and 4 days I have known this somebody who has completely changed my outlook, perspective, and my love of life, and who has brought forth these emotions, feelings and sensations for which I have never experianced. We look at ourselves, and as you look in the mirror , you see what you've been told you see, by those who have sought to harm you, to bring you down, and as a result your left behind walls, gates, and locks, to keep them out from seeing who you really are. Then when you least expect it, you find that one person, who can see past all that has been before, and can see what is to come, a once gimpy hand, finds its piece in the puzzle of our lives. To this one, she finds that flaws she once felt she had, and had no place for, are now found in him. they fit together, a glance, a slight nod, a short wink of an eye, and two people have now found that neither of them ever had flaws, just that the pieces of their lives, which at one point they thought wouldn't fit, turned out that they were looking for the other half of the puzzle to complete it. I have found the other pieces to the half of my puzzle , and I have found them with my wonderful, incredible, and extraordinary Girlfriend, and Soulmate Emily.. She is the other half of the puzzle one searches a lifetime for, and very few ever get to find. She holds my heart, my pride, my love, and together, though we still may have a few flaws, to us, we fit perfectly together, even our initials stand for what this relationship is A & E - for Always & Eternally