Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The meaning of Sacrifice

Too often it goes unnoticed as to the depth of sacrifices people make, in order to see the other side. In today's world with so many people from all backgrounds have made sacrifices so that others may live, so that a mother could feed her children, a father to give up that "sure deal at work, just so that he could see his son's little league game". The sacrifice made most recently is a wife, a girlfriend, a significant other, seeing them off into unknown territory , an unknown people, and a demographic which would like nothing more then to see each of them hung, mutilated, and maimed in the name of their god. While I will not compare my own circumstances to that of a solider going to war, and dishonor the work that they do, I want to let it be known, there is a woman 788 miles east of my location, who I feel that day in, and day out, living a life of a military spouse, without the benefit of being able to say her spouse is overseas fighting to protect us from evil.

7 years ago, I made a choice to enter the world of the airline industry, partly because it had been a childhood dream of mine to be a pilot, and be a part of this mystical realm which I admired since I was 6 weeks old. During my time here, I have traveled to places, I only dreamed of going, have met people from all backgrounds, from homeless people looking for a warm bench in an airport terminal to Celebrities. I am grateful for every day that I've had.

7 months ago, in a warm summer day in pleasentville, I promised myself, and to the woman who holds my heart, that I would return home, by next april... and for every month until then I'd return each month, to show my dedication , my honor , and my love for this woman. For every month since that day, I have held true, and as I have held, so has her love, we've grown, we've shared, and most of all experienced things, I could only have dreamed of at a point in time. Today at work, She mentioned something, which really hit, and stuck with me "When I tell people, its going to be a little while longer before your home, I get a look or a comment of pity" . My heart cried out hearing this. For while, I have been here in Chicago, working, and arranging a formal move home to her, whenever she's asked, part of her cries out too, sadness, the hope, the prayer that I'd return home..that when someone asks of me, she'll be able to say, with that amazing smile of hers "He's great, I can't wait to go home to him tonight". She might be in the student lounge, and hears the doors to the outside open, and for a brief second, turns her head in hope that it could just be him, or when she lies in bed, wrapped in a hoodie, grasping onto it , wrapping herself with it, lifting her shoulders, wishing he was filling that hoodie, and it was his arms around her.
To be able to keep a smile on her face, even when she least wants to, as she tells people, that my schedules changed, and that I won't be home when I said I would be. To hear her friends respond with "that sucks" or "I hope he's back soon" .. to pity her. The truth is folks, She's stronger then anyone I know or have met. I have put Emily thru so much hardship and pain, with my being away from her, away from home for so long.. that even with a lifetime and then some of being with her, I can only wish and hope to be able to give her, and show her as much devotion, as much love, and as much a security as she has given in her sacrifice being in a long distance relationship with me.
The meaning of sacrifice , is being able to forgo something, in light of one day having it in return.

Emily, for every moment you've sacrificed, I promise, it has not been in vein, and as each day passes, my love, my dedication, and my devotion to you only grows stronger, and when we reunite together, it will be eternity and a day.